"Imagine"

I just love this poem. "What ever happened to that we shall overcome shit?"
Matter of fact... What ever happened to DefPoetry??? *sigh* But... either way, this poem is SO real.

Using Their Words To "Prove" Your Point

I often have discussions of race and inequality among my friends. I argue terribly because, well, I'm not a bullshitter. I don't do the, "My opinion is right & I know it is, no matter what facts you can pull up" thing. I prefer to think before I speak. I prefer accuracy over loudness. I prefer to use experience + facts + intuition in a discussion & that culmination of things is hard to gather together in a random argument, so, I suck @ it. I'll usually end up giving up or feeling cheated for time somehow. So, I am reclaiming my time with this blog and making an effort to prove MY point.

This particular entry is a list of different arguments I have been in that talk about race, mostly about Black people. During these arguments, though, I found that my friends had a habit of saying things that, basically encouraged racism. In fact, they pretty much used the same arguments used by the people who made the racist laws used to uphold slavery & Jim Crow laws. Since all of the people I argued with are Black, I thought it was important that they come up with a better argument. I think I will also have a mention of why the Feminist movements were necessary as well. I have a feeling that this is going to be a long blog, so I may post it in parts, hopefully no one minds too much?? Well, let's hop to it!

Argument #1:
This one annoys me the most because, it's something my mom said, but I take into consideration that my mom was born in 1954 and experienced racism first-hand for many years of her life, so she's quite biased. This argument is easiest described as: If I'm good, they're evil. These words aren't the words used, of course, but rather this is the general idea expressed behind the argument. Had a discussion with my mom and sister. She mentioned how many racist blogs she had come across on Craigslist. She stated that she had read how White people were saying that Black people are so dirty for not washing their hair every day. When that was said, I got annoyed, of course. And so did my mom. My mom, then proceeds to say that “White people are the dirty ones, they HAVE to wash their hair everyday….[blah] [blah] [blah]. Me and my sister interrupted her because, it was an ignorant statement as well. I love my mother, but because she was a DIRECT receiver of the oppression exhibited in this beautiful country we live in… her heart and mind are hurt. This leads to my point. In order for my mother to justify why these white people were wrong for thinking the way they thought, she had to insult them and make them deviant in some way. In order for Black people to be okay, normal (whatever that even MEANS!), White people had to be bad, unusual. That’s not how the world works. Sorry. The fact is, we ARE different.

Our hair and skin look and act differently, but it has NOTHING to do with being unnatural or anything like that. White people just have fine hair in the hair texture spectrum and Black people have more course hair. Therefore… while white people’s hair can go about a max of 2 days?? Before the natural oils in their hair affect its functionality and smell… Black people, whose natural oils are actually not enough to make it functional, can go upwards of a month before our natural oils affect our hair (although when our hair is natural we SHOULD wash it every 2 weeks and once a week when it is relaxed). In fact Black people normally have to add oils of some sort to our hair more than once a week to keep it functional. Another important factor is that there are PLENTY of Black people close to the fine end of the spectrum and they sometimes have to wash their hair a maximum of every 5 days. We’re lucky in some sense because we get to spend a little less on shampoo and conditioner. Then again, Black hair products are actually MADE for our hair are JUST now getting highly marketed, so we are still technically learning what it is we can do.

Needless to say me and my sister told her this and we made sure that she was aware of the dangerous line she had crossed. She was being no better that the racists. In my women’s studies courses I learned that the oppressed population can’t fall into the “-ist/-ism” category because they were oppressed so there is a reason for them to feel prejudice against the oppressor, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t prejudice; it doesn’t make it okay. So my mom isn’t racist, but she has a CLEAR prejudice against white people. I still love her, but I call her out on her ignorance as well. After all, the only way to overcome ignorance is love and knowledge.

These VERY false binaries are going to kill us. When I say this I mean, the myth that something is either, good OR evil; black OR white; quiet OR loud; even man OR woman. It’s killing us because if you “know” that you fall at one end of the spectrum, then you force someone who is different from you to fall on the other end (i.e. if I am Black and good then she is White and evil). It is something that needs to stop and this was my effort towards that effort, but I would LOVE to hear what you think.

Leave a comment. Am I justified for thinking such a way?

What You Ask Of Me

"Latinos work jobs that most Americans won't work in order to make sure they survive. They also live all together to make bills cheaper per person. They do this so that their children will have a better life. But Black people complain about what they don't have. We didn't get here by being individualistic like we are." These are the ideas that float in many people's heads when they discuss the reasons why so many Black people live in poverty. I must say, I am one of the many people who have been arguing this same thing for years. I have also made it a point to say the other side of this... Black people know better. Black people know what it is they deserve as a U.S. Citizen and THAT is why they will not work a job that does NOT offer them benefits like health care and a salary; that will NOT provide them with basic needs without using governmental assistance. I still believe that our new found individualism has been at our detriment, but I have also argued that Black people have the belief that the reason White people have their privilege is because of the money they have. I think that the real reason is their access to information.Either way it is important to remember that Black people have worked those jobs... For the past 350 years. Not because they wanted a better life, but because they had no choice but to do so. They have had to put aside their dreams so that, maybe, their children will be able to live theirs. This is fact.

What you are asking me to do:

You are asking me to continue, in 2010, to watch my white "peers" continue to receive better education, which leads to better secondary education, which leads to a better job, & more money to better provide for their families, but put aside my dreams so that maybe my kids will have a better life? You are asking me to sacrifice myself so that the next generations may have better opportunities? But I was told I could be anything I wanted to be! I was told we ALL have the same opportunities now! I was taught that all I have to do is go to school & I will be better. Now you say, maybe I need to work a little harder than my white "peers" to get where I want to be in life. I have to know the "right" information to work around the system. But how do I get this information if the schools don't give it to me? How do I know this information when my school is being funded by my fellow impoverished peers? Do they know the information? Then why are they still living in poverty? Why don't white people have to search for this information? Why don't they have to work a little harder to receive it? But I have to be willing to sacrifice for my children. Still? In 2010? I can't dream of greatness? I just have to dream of making enough money so that my children will eventually be able to go to college.

That is what you are asking of me? I STILL have to sacrifice? I have to watch these people gain so much success, but because I am Black I STILL cannot share in this? In 2010???

How is this supposed to be fair? How is this right? You are asking me to be content with the idea that I will have to struggle for the rest of my life, just so my children will have a larger glimpse at one? You cannot honestly believe that would be encouraging… I know that that is the burden that Black people have to bear and one I am willing to, but it is unfair to expect that of everyone. To this I know that world is not fair, but just think about how disheartening this is. What I’m trying to say is… that I get it. I get why people have that desire not to struggle anymore and are tired of having to do so. I get that you get tired of being Black sometimes. It’s exhausting and sad and hard. But… I also get that it’s not about us… even in 2010… it’s not about how we’re going to end up. It IS, however, about our future; the future of Black people. It IS about how well they will end up. I think if our current state in the U.S. says nothing else, it should let us know that the struggle is not over and it is not going to be over until we ALL can stand together and say we want better and that we are going to struggle together to make sure our future children get it.

I mentioned in a previous blog that I am reading a book by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and that it has inspired more than a little blog ideas. This was one of them and I will write a few more that piggy back off of this. Leave a comment to let me know what you think about my “epiphany”.

What I Learned: About My Public School Education

There is a problem, I have noticed, with education in the "hood". I know you probably read that sentence thinking, “Well, DUH! Tell me something I don’t know.” Well, I think, that for many, there are a few things that I will write, that you did not know. The main reason I am writing this is because I believe that the main hindrance for the lack of education in schools is the lack of funds going to schools. I have noticed that a lot of people have this belief that “We all received the same type of schooling, education, resources etc… it’s what we did with it that makes us so different.” Sadly, that is definitely NOT the case. The poorer schools (since taxes from the area dictate the funding) receive the more cost efficient education; cheaper teachers and staff, older books, less college prep, and a strong emphasis on vocational education.

Now, I don’t think that the vocational education is bad because those schools provide the skills needed for children who either do not perform as well in school or who are likely to go straight to work after high school (some even need those resources while in high school). When I think of vocational schools, I not only think of the other side of necessary education, but I also think about the industries in different areas. Vocational schools provide for the training needed to work in the majority of those industries. In fact, I have noticed that high schools in general provide for the careers that are populous in those areas. The sad thing about that is that we never really learn to dream BIGGER, that is unless you are fortunate enough to have other family of friends who know about something else.

If we are telling these kids that they MUST go to school & that an education is NECESSARY then we need to give these kids a reason to feel like the schools are worth their time. We need to make sure that the education that we are providing for them is going to give them the right opportunities. The programs in the schools need to be working towards their benefit as well. They should not feel like the system doesn't work to help them be better. They should not be able to see kids who are in the same city, but yet are receiving better and more relevant resources. How is that a motivator when they know that there is really nothing they can do to receive those benefits? To them the only thing that is making the big difference is money (and they would be right). When the only reason they aren't getting taught the same, or learning about different programs out there for them is because the people WITH money are withholding these resources & using their money only to benefit themselves... Why would they believe otherwise. When the people who came from the same schools as they did and grew up in the same areas as they did... Are still in their area, doing the same things & still struggling. How are they to believe that money isn't the only thing holding them back. You wonder why they sell drugs with the belief that it's going to get them ahead in life. You wonder why they define success as having money & being able to spend it without struggling or impatiently waiting for their next pay check??

Little do they realize that the main difference between them and the "rich kids" is the distribution of information. Although money is the reason the information is not being distributed evenly among them and their peers, it is the information that gets them the money in the first place. It is the information that determines how you view life. It is the information that determines how life and society views you. And that lack of information, that lack of knowledge or what we all know as ignorance is what has caused the most harm to many of the people. It is ignorance that has kept so many of my fellow African Americans in an internalized state of slavery. They don't know how to get the knowledge because the people with it still refuse to give them a chance. They hold that patriarchal view that if we give it to them, they still wouldn't know what to do with it. And it is THAT kind of thinking that is the MOST ignorant.

How often has a Black man/ or woman with a college degree proved detrimental to society? Now how often has a Black Man or Woman without a college degree, or worse, without a high school diploma, proven harmful, to others as well as themselves?? But yet if you give us the opportunity, the knowledge, the power, to be something else, we wouldn't know what to do with it?! If you ask me that sounds more like fear. Fear that there will just be more competition, for jobs. I don't know WHY people have gotten in the mindset that making someone else better, makes YOU bad, or worse. But that idea has radiated itself in so many forms throughout our society from the ideas of beauty (if this fuller figured girl is pretty, then because I am small, I am ugly?), to the classism (if the poor are given the opportunity, then I/the wealthy will be less powerful). People can't think in terms of the fact that when a bigger variety is "allowed" in... It creates more OPPORTUNITY, not more COMPETITION. UGH!

Our True Failure

I get that a lot of women think that the main problem with Black people is the "fall" of the Black man, but from where I'm standing... It's actually the fall of the Black woman. It's the mothers who raise these Black men, marry them, have their children, and allow them to think that money is the only way. THAT'S the real issue. When we expect a man who was only taught how to be a provider to teach his son something more... You've failed. I truly am beginning to see that it takes a real woman to raise a son. The problem is that either women are looking for a man to do it for them, or they forget the values that prevented their son's father from being their son's role model. All the while, this boy is growing up and seeing you treated with disrespect or allowing others to take advantage of you. They see you giving yourself to a man who has yet to give himself to you. When you had this son... What were the values you intended to instill in them? What possibilities did you see him having? How did you anticipate him being the man you now see his father is not? If you cannot answer these questions... I dare say... You shouldn't have had a child. What values are you now instilling in your child(ren) that they can be better than their parents? What ADVANTAGES have you allotted him that he will be smarter, better equipped than you? These, my dearies are VITAL factors that a mother MUST take into thought while raising a child. Otherwise, your complaints are in vain.

I do not blame the fathers (although they are a SERIOUS disappointment at various times), but I blame the mothers because many times you have not only put yourselves in impossible situations, but you have now passed that situation, that circumstance onto your child. It was YOU who chose to raise a child without truly knowing his father. It was YOU who chose to have sex with this man. It was YOU who chose to say you understand him, but yet have not analyzed (in even the smallest capacity) the relationship this man has with his father & his mother. You have not taken into consideration his values and that someone who values only the visual advantages of money may not be a good person to teach your child the value of hard work and family, community, love, respect... How dare YOU blame him, when you are... raising him? Your son, he is, in essence, the remake of his father. And it is not just the absence of his father, or the lack of participation from his father that has caused your child to have problems. It is the lack of thought, participation from his mother when deciding to create her child. If you allowed yourself to be seduced by whatever this man (or boy, depending on your age) was offering you, then, my dear, that is what you have taught your son to be motivated to have. “A man is only going to do what you allow him to do” I HATE that quote, mainly because… it is true. The problem is… that NO ONE seems to see the problem in that. WHY are we not teaching our sons, the future men, to treat people with fairness and respect, NO MATTER what the person allows you to do? THAT is a problem. I REFUSE to let my future son (if I ever have one) think that treating a girl like a dog is ok if she lets him. You slapping me does not make it right just because I did not do anything to stop you from slapping me. Now, you may say I’m dumb if I let someone slap me. And AGAIN you miss the point. The point is not that I “let” someone do something to me; it IS that they thought it was okay to do it in the first place. People who victim blame, or who say that “you let…”, are only taking away from the real issue, and to me are just in denial of the mistakes that they made.

A child is a WONDERFUL gift. Parents want to make sure that their child has what they were not able to. But in order to do that, you have to think differently. And you should give yourself the chance to grow up, yourself before you put yourself in the position to be responsible for someone else's development. How can you possibly be prepared to teach your child values when you are currently at the beginning stages of developing your own? Why would you do that? A child gives you the opportunity to pass on your legacy, your beliefs, your dreams, to someone else and you waste such an opportunity when you tackle that task too soon. You waste it when you have yet to experience yourself; yet to know who you are or who you can become.

Now, I applaud the women who have managed to raise a child without experiencing any sad repercussions and those women who have been able to raise their child with wonderful values, but for the majority of the single mothers out there... This last note will not be condemning in its nature.  Simply put: We HAVE to do better and we HAVE to grow up. Our children are dependent on it.

The "Crisis" of the Successful Black Woman

This was the first episode I watched of The Spark and I was HOOKED. I just love how she talks about the issues. I ESPECIALLY think that the last 3 minutes are DEFINITELY on point! I think it is SO necessary for women to spend time working on themselves. I've learned that I need to be comfortable being single before I even worry about being in a relationship. I'm only 22, settling down is not in the near future so I don't have to focus so much of my attention and efforts on pursuing a man. I think there are SO many women out there who go out based on trying to find a man or trying to find a potential boo. It's just ridiculous. So like Bansu said: "If you're right then, if a man DOES come around next week, you'll be even better" But YOU have to be right first. And like Tionna said" FIND A HOBBY!!" I think I'm going to do a separate blog on this issue soon because I am seeing that this is something that needs to be in the minds of so many Black women... So... Here's the episode. PLEASE watch it.

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