Here I go again...
So, as usual, the struggle to get fit is REAL. I've been watching myself, over the past year, gain every bit of the weight that I had lost back.
It sucks.
I've made mention before that my physical health has a strong correlative relationship with my spiritual health. As such, when I first started noticing the weight gain, I immediately wanted to figure out where I was slipping. And it took me months. Almost until the end of last year to figure it out, but I got it. Aside from my eating being sporadic along with my exercising, my general focus had shifted back to an unhealthy one...
I wanted to lose weight.
Although my being over 200lbs warrants a need to lose weight, that shouldn't be my focus.
I've been setting myself up for failure.
I could spend as much time as I wanted to worried about the number on the scale, but that wasn't pushing me to stick with anything. There needed to be a full shift.
At some point I had to accept that I needed to create HEALTHY Habits for myself. There's no one-time shot at this thing. My lifestyle of worshipping God with my body has to be a LifeStyle. My way of life. My own personal culture. And I hadn't Really accepted that. I wanted to look a certain way by a certain time to prove Something to nobody in particular. And the reality is... I entered into a relationship with Jesus a LONG time ago so He is the one I should be trying to impress. He is the one I should be attempting to please. And ultimately, through my diligence, He will be glorified.
I'm blessed each day that I wake up because it's another chance to get this right. I'm not settling for mediocre anything and I'm not going to attempt to withhold grace from myself when I do mess up.
No longer will I convince myself that I'm just supposed to be fat, simply because it's hard to find a balance that works for me.
No.
Not anymore. No excuses.
With all that said, I have set it in my mind (and on paper) that no matter what, I'm never giving up this journey. No matter how long it may take me, I'm worth way too much to neglect myself. Afterall, Jesus died for me to have victory.
So, in order to support my healthy addiction to never giving up, I've decided to take this ship one step further:
1) I joined a gym [my apartment fitness center may be convenient & free, but it's no motivation to keep me going... so I figured if I'm paying I might have a little bit more invested]
2) I'm sticking with making monthly, weekly, & daily fitness goals (getting my water intake up is my only daily goal for the moment). Each month I'll take the time to evaluate my progress towards my goals, see what I still need to work on & why, and I will carryover and unmet goals (making any changes as needed)
3) I'm making it my biggest goal to get moving! I spent 5 years in college & 13 years in school before that. I walked ALL my life. But as an adult my life is nothing but sitting down. I'm either at my desk or driving all day & I've neglected the physical activity my body was used to doing in order to, if nothing else, maintain my weight. So, I'm keeping this in mind when it comes to physical activity. When I talk about balance, this one plays a huge part in my struggle. I'm focusing more on it, but it's definitely hard.
And last, but not least...
4) I'm setting a goal to do Color Me Rad this year. I'm really excited about this one. Phoenix has theirs in November so that gives me plenty of time to train. It'll be my first race... Ever. (Yikes)
I'm hopeful to do a practice 5K before, but life has been semi-stupid recently so we shall see...
So the saga continues...
I'd love to hear from you:
Can you relate?
Let me know what's been keeping you from accomplishing Your fitness goals. And if you've been able to get motivated and stay there, share what's worked for you and why?
Stay Blessed,
♡♥
Benita (:
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