The Evolution of Lola || Natural Hair Update

I don't think I have given an official update on my hair journey... ever. Funny because I am constantly posting pictures on my Instagram, but in regards to updates on my regimen or goals or even challenges, I haven't done. I have been natural almost 2.5 years (it'll be official on the 27th of this month!) and started my journey almost 3.5 years ago.
Throughout this time I have experienced so much and I figured that it was time to start sharing this fantastic journey with you all.

With my decision to commit to a new routine of taking hair, skin, & nails vitamins, what better time to start?

Periodically throughout 2013 I was taking different brands of vitamins because I really wanted to see if I could see a difference in my hair growth or hair health.

This past summer I did pretty good with being consistent with one brand and as a result I did see an increase in my growth rate. The funny thing is that I usually always see more growth in the summer so I'm not sure if it was the pills or just my usual growth pattern. As such I figured that I should try it now and see if I can see a difference. 

Just to note: I already have a belief that ultimately hair vitamins are vitamins & minerals that are proven to be beneficial to our bodies. Vitamins are made to improve the daily healthy functioning, especially if your regular diet doesn't include your daily needs. With that being said it only makes sense that increasing the intake of certain vitamins and minerals would increase hair growth and/or health. SO I'm taking into consideration that my body, overall will improve by taking these vitamins which adds as an incentive for me.

I'm on a strict budget so Hairfinity and other multivitamins over $15 a month were not considered. Since I still have a few days left of my old bottles (maybe 5,6 more days), I'm going to finish those out then start my new bottle of a different brand.

I'm posting my starting photos as of 2/2/14 (front, side, & back) and each month I will do an update. My hair's uneven so I wanted to be sure I got both sides. I know that it's SO possible for me to forget to take them, especially since I technically still had a few weeks worth of pills from my summer bottle (smh) so I won't leave-out my inconsistency if it happens. 

Below are the vitamins I used last summer as well as the ones I will start using next week.

I'm excited to post my future progress!

I typically grow about 3-4 inches a year (1/2 inch a month) and I will be doing monthly updates so be on the look out.

Wish me luck 

-Benita (:

The Evolution of Lola || That Moment You Realize You're NOT "Tender-headed"

*tug tug, POP*
"Ooouucchh-a!"
"You better hold still! I don't know how you ended up so tender-headed, but you're gonna have to grow out of it..."

I laugh as flashbacks of my BP (before perm) days play in my mind... I can remember being 8 or 9 and having exhausted ALL of my resources (aka my cousins) for getting my hair done. Everyone tried because they loved my hair, but like dominoes they each dropped & gave up, pledging to NEVER do my hair again.

You see... I was the tender-headed one between me and my sister (ok... in my family). Technically, we'd both cringe whenever a comb was raked through our kinks, but by this time my sister had a relaxer and I... was officially "the cryer".
My mom would always compliment my hair and tell me she never wanted me to get a relaxer because she didn't want my texture to change. But as I got older (and she as well) and baretts on 6 random braids was no longer considered an age-appropriate hairstyle, we started to run out of options for my hair. So, in 1999 at the ripe age of 11, I finally convinced my mom into letting me relax my hair. We decided to stick with children's relaxers (PCJ then Just For Me) because "they wouldn't mess up my texture". We're going to save that discussion for another day though.

Life was grand after that. My hair kept growing for the most part and, thanks to some middle school classmates, I learned how to wrap my hair on my own.

Fast-Forward to 2010 and I decided that my September relaxer was going to be my last one. I had to have my hair fresh for my birthday (in October) and I had already started waiting 6 months in between relaxers so... it was time.

It took me almost 7 months into my transition to learn about "transitioning" and all the other information online regarding natural hair and the journey to it. Like everyone else I became a little obsessed with researching and styling and hair maintenance.
And, like most of us, one of the first things I learned was the appropriate way to detangle and/or comb through my hair...
This is when I discovered the truth.
The truth being... I'M NOT TENDER-HEADED!!

I'm not sure how many of you had this discovery, but I promise I feel bamboozled and gyped from my childhood.
And then after I finally cut off my relaxer... and REALLY started styling my own hair and discovered my curl pattern. .. Yea I felt like I had been played my whole life. I mean really, for the first time in my life I saw that it was EVERYone else who was crazy and not me.

That moment you realize that your hair, in all of it's kinky, coily, glory, was never made to be raked through like leaves. That an afro comb is not really your friend. And that Blue Magic is not "Everything". That moment you realize that your mom truly just had no idea what she was doing to your hair...

Yea... THAT moment.
It's almost liberating. It's as if the weight of shame you felt because you just couldn't help but cringe in sheer pain each time that afro comb attempted to make its way from root to end and back again through your dry, but blue magic coated coils.... has veen lifted!

Yea... that moment.

I love that moment because I know that I will be able to pass on the knowledge to not just my peers, but also my Mom (who has been rocking her natural for a few years now) and anyone else.
And... I did...
The following summer I helped facilitate a discussion about hair care with the teen girls at my church. And it was Awesome.

So... I just wanted to let you naturals-formally-known-as-tender-headed that you have won.
And if you actually have a sensitive scalp...??
Well...
then...
this wasn't for you. Lol

Later people (:

♡♥
-Benita

When Fear Becomes You

Fear is such the little punk. It may just be one of the worst things to exist. It's a catalyst for disappointed, doubt, and self-destruction. And it's also pretty powerful. There have been so many times when I have let fear dictate my life and I realize that it is truly THE struggle.

I've feared failure, judgement, rejection, & even success. It's funny though, because even when I recognize the fear for what it is, I still manage to ignore it and the accompanied need to change my thinking. This, of course, leads to the  originally feared result.
A self-fulfilled prophecy if you will.

Even with me doing my blog, okay, especially with doing my blog... I get afraid of ALL of those things. So, as a result nothing happens and then I get disappointed and mad because I didn't put myself out there. The same can even be said for my weight-loss journey. In the past I mentioned that I feared success when it came to this area and although I reached a few milestones in the past, I let fear (and pride) come back into my life and I've reaped the results.
This has been me for the past few years.

As a writer and as a person I've seen my growth, but I've somehow convinced myself that it's not worth exposing. I've had many successes (and failures), but i allowed doubt to grow in my mind and didn't share what I've veen learning. I love that so many of us have the ability to inspire & encourage one another and I've become passionate about being a part of that. But still... i didn't stay committed.
As this new year gets into full swing I have been increasingly confronted with not only the need to change, but the idea of just working towards fulfilling my destiny.

So... here I am, continuing this journey of destiny fulfillment and I'm making it a point to focus on those things I've grown to be increasingly passionate about through the years. Those things that I've determined I will never give up on, no matter how many times I may fall.
And I'm making it a point to not stress over the things I can't control, but rather I'm just going to be honest and do what I do best.
God has given me gifts & with that I have a responsibility to do what I can with these gifts to glorify Him.

And that is exactly what I intend to do.

2 Timothy 1:7 NLT || For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

♡♥
-Benita (:

Le Struggle Life || Same Vision, Different Goals

Here I go again...

So, as usual, the struggle to get fit is REAL. I've been watching myself, over the past year, gain every bit of the weight that I had lost back.
It sucks.

I've made mention before that my physical health has a strong correlative relationship with my spiritual health. As such, when I first started noticing the weight gain, I immediately wanted to figure out where I was slipping. And it took me months. Almost until the end of last year to figure it out, but I got it. Aside from my eating being sporadic along with my exercising, my general focus had shifted back to an unhealthy one... 

I wanted to lose weight.

Although my being over 200lbs warrants a need to lose weight, that shouldn't be my focus.
I've been setting myself up for failure.

I could spend as much time as I wanted to worried about the number on the scale, but that wasn't pushing me to stick with anything. There needed to be a full shift.
At some point I had to accept that I needed to create HEALTHY Habits for myself. There's no one-time shot at this thing. My lifestyle of worshipping God with my body has to be a LifeStyle. My way of life. My own personal culture. And I hadn't Really accepted that. I wanted to look a certain way by a certain time to prove Something to nobody in particular. And the reality is... I entered into a relationship with Jesus a LONG time ago so He is the one I should be trying to impress. He is the one I should be attempting to please. And ultimately, through my diligence, He will be glorified.

I'm blessed each day that I wake up because it's another chance to get this right. I'm not settling for mediocre anything and I'm not going to attempt to withhold grace from myself when I do mess up. 

No longer will I convince myself that I'm just supposed to be fat, simply because it's hard to find a balance that works for me.
No.
Not anymore. No excuses.
With all that said, I have set it in my mind (and on paper) that no matter what, I'm never giving up this journey. No matter how long it may take me, I'm worth way too much to neglect myself. Afterall, Jesus died for me to have victory.

So, in order to support my healthy addiction to never giving up, I've decided to take this ship one step further:

1) I joined a gym [my apartment fitness center may be convenient & free, but it's no motivation to keep me going... so I figured if I'm paying I might have a little bit more invested]

2) I'm sticking with making monthly, weekly, & daily fitness goals (getting my water intake up is my only daily goal for the moment). Each month I'll take the time to evaluate my progress towards my goals, see what I still need to work on & why, and I will carryover and unmet goals (making any changes as needed)

3) I'm making it my biggest goal to get moving! I spent 5 years in college & 13 years in school before that. I walked ALL my life. But as an adult my life is nothing but sitting down. I'm either at my desk or driving all day & I've neglected the physical activity my body was used to doing in order to, if nothing else, maintain my weight. So, I'm keeping this in mind when it comes to physical activity. When I talk about balance, this one plays a huge part in my struggle. I'm focusing more on it, but it's definitely hard.

And last, but not least...

4) I'm setting a goal to do Color Me Rad this year. I'm really excited about this one. Phoenix has theirs in November so that gives me plenty of time to train. It'll be my first race... Ever. (Yikes)
I'm hopeful to do a practice 5K before, but life has been semi-stupid recently so we shall see...

So the saga continues...

I'd love to hear from you:
Can you relate?
Let me know what's been keeping you from accomplishing Your fitness goals. And if you've been able to get motivated and stay there, share what's worked for you and why?

Stay Blessed,

♡♥
Benita (: