Dating Jesus || Don't Let Fear Prevent Praise

This weekend has been crazy. I'm still not sure exactly how i feel, but... I feel much better after writing this.
I can be pretty open, but these past few months have been difficult for me so I've been pretty shut off, hence my not writing. However, these days, in spite of my increased feelings if anxiety, I feel better. Mainly because I'm seeing more and more that if I say what's in my head... I can likely get someone to shine some light and speak some life into me. So my peace increases.
With this, I figured I'd share one of the recent lessons I learned and try to work on continuing my "Dating Jesus" series.
Here ya go and I hope this helps.
Also, I'm going to reference some of the scriptures that are helping me rebuke the lies and embrace His truth.

So... I got a new car yesterday...
And instead of being happy about the blessing that is the ability to be on the road again (including, but not limited to: being able to run my needed errands w/out the task of defeating feelings of pride & guilt, being able to do my job better, AND getting back to receiving my mileage reimbursement) I found myself depressed, disappointed, guilty, and still anxious.

Then today, while expressing my thoughts for the 10th time or so... I realized what was happening...
I was allowing fear to begat fear and, in tern, prevent me from praising God...

I was feeling completely wrong because my action WAS made off of fear so I felt that it was only just that God allow me to fall so I didn't thank Him... At all. I'm not saying that this was all blessed by God, but I AM saying God will bless me.

I'm not perfect. There are times when I have and probably will foolishly ignore wisdom or fall victim to my lack of faith, but God is my Father. He is my guide and He is not in the business of letting me fall [Psalms 55:22, Hebrews 13:5-6]. This may be a lesson, but in the midst of it, I can't refuse to thank God for giving me what I asked for... And ultimately this is Grace activated.

He's over here preparing me and even allowing me to see how I can be better in the future; who i can talk to; how to move forward, but I was focused on things I can't change anymore.

He has given me victory, peace, joy, grace, and He has promised me that all things will work for the good [Isaiah 12:2, Philipians 4:7 Psalms 46:10, Matthew 21:28, Ephesians, Psalms 119:143, Romans 8:28]. I'm NOT going to allow fear to override my praise. I'm NOT going to forget that God is able to do WAY more than I can ask or think [Ephesians 3:20]. And I'm NOT going to forget that God chose Me so He's got me [Romans 8:28-30].

Stay Blessed y'all
❤❤
-Benita

National Suicide Prevention

I haven't written in a WHILE. Not since starting my true fitness journey in July. Today, however, I felt drawn to type about my car on Facebook; just to vent, and then it randomly turned into me exposing a little more about myself than I wanted to. But... With the way my year has been set up... I felt the need to make a little bit more noise...
Below you'll find what I posted, but since this is home I wanted to add a little more...
Mainly that this year has truly taken its toll on me. 

From my mom, to my job, to my friendships and my weight; I have felt terrible way more often than I have felt good. And although this is still a struggle, I finally see light. Some of the light has scared me and affected me in ways that brought feelings I still can't describe. Then there's the light of simply knowing that God has got me and on top of that... I cannot give up. 

I declared this year the year of Never Giving Up. And I forgot that, but yet it still took hold in my spirit; In my soul. 

I refuse to give up. 

And that is truly ALL GOD. 

And in knowing THAT brings me so much random bits of peace. Something else I can't describe.
So yea... In the midst of my sorrow and fear I'm grateful to God for instilling HOPE in me. And through hope I become resilient and strong and joyful...

My Fb post.
My car has been out of commission for almost 2 weeks.
Which means I haven't been able to go to church for 2 weeks and effectively doing my job has been THE struggle. I have been on one of the worst emotional, financial and spiritual rollercoasters of my life for 2 weeks.
My pride, my faith, my love, & my ability to cry have been tested several times this year and this was like the icing on the cake.

But I realized that no matter what happens to me...
(And as a person who struggles with anxiety, believe me when I say I thought of everything that could happen)...
I will ALWAYS declare Jesus is Lord;
God will ALWAYS be my Abba Father;
and I will ALWAYS remember the many ways God has shown up and showed out in my life.

I thank God for just being able to hold on to something. My past victories; His promises; and just Hope.
People don't always feel like they have those. Any of them.

And during National Suicide Prevention Week and more specifically this being National Suicide Prevention Day...
I felt that it was important for people to understand the power of Hope. The power of Faith. and the power in His Love.

There are people who struggle EVERY DAY living in their own heads. Tortured by the thought that, not only does life suck right now, but that there is no way it is going to get better or that the pain is not tolerable enough to hold on until it does.

There's that wonderful quote out there, I don't know who stated it, but it was a great truth.
"Suicide doesn't end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the chances of it ever getting better."

And what people don't realize, sometimes, is the absolute Joy that you feel when things actually get better...

If we can, as a community, focus more on just instilling hope and strength and light into one another. If we could just be there for each other. Not to give advice all the time or correct all the time, but simply just listen and speak Life into each other...
Then prevention, instead of what always feels more like awareness... Would feel more attainable.

Just praying for people out there right now...

Be Great y'all.

❤❤
-Benita (:

Dating Jesus || 30-day Challenge

Happy Friday's Eve!

Last week I posted about staying committed and the challenges I've recently had with improving my relationship with Christ. 

Today I'm going to start a challenge that was first introduced to me last December by my church's Young Adult ministry (CORE) leader. It's actually what inspired the name "Dating Jesus" in the first place.

For 30-days Commit to spending 40 minutes each day Dating (or getting to know) God.

This consists of 4 elements:
1) Spend 10 minutes reading the Bible
2) Spend 5 minutes praying
3) Spend 15 minutes meditating/listening to God (it helped me to keep a notepad around so I could write what I felt I was hearing)
And...
4) Spend the last 10 minutes in praise & worship. 
Here's the fun part...
You praise & worship with no music (as in no recorded music)

Doing this (although I fell off after 2-weeks... just being honest) really helped me see where I was falling off with my relationship with God. And it was during those "dates" that I saw how important it is to remember that this IS a relationship that I Chose to enter into and just like any relationship, communication is key.

God communicates with Us through his Word. We communicate with his through prayer. And when it comes to praise & worship... well who DOESN'T like to feel validated? God said himself that he is a jealous God. During those moments of praise & worship I truly had to think about why I love Him and who He is to Me. I wasn't just singing along with a song I remembered most of yhe words to.. This was my moment to be completely mindful of what I was saying.

At one point I couldn't figure out the RIGHT words to say. So I Googled the names of God. Some may be familiar with terms like Yahweh, Jehovah Jireh (or Yireh), or El Shaddai, but if you're likee you either had NO idea what those terms mean or you just didn't feel that they resonated with you. So, lucky me I previously attended a Women's Bible study a few years back that solely focused on the different names of God. I lost the paper that gave each name (per the Bible) & their meaning, but I know almost Anything can be found on Google. Lol
As such I did my search and came across so many names. I actually found a website that gave a great list with the meanings and verses.

As I was looking at the list, I came across the term "Abba Father" which basically means "Daddy". Not in the "Baby Daddy" form but in the "my Daddy", "my Dad", my provider, protector, teacher, disciplinarian, informal doctor, and whatever other role those Dad's play. When I saw that term, I immediately attached to it. THAT is who God has been to me. He's convicted me, forgiven me, punished me, praised me, guided me, protected me... Loved ME! Unconditionally. So I HAD to thank Him and honor Him. Just for being my Abba Father.

I say all this because one of the biggest mistakes we can make as Christians is getting stuck in a routine with our praise and worship. We say "Hallelujah" simply because we know it is the "highest praise" but we fail to try and figure out what exactly we are trying to praise God for. And who wants an pseudo-praise with no real reason behind it? Let's work on really praising & worshipping God "in Spirit and in truth" like the Bible instructs us.

One thing that helps me keep Him in mind is that I literally have an alarm that goes off each day with the title "Date Time". Corny? Yes, but effective.

I hope you try this challenge again with me and know that I REALLY want to hear from you on how you're doing and what was easy or hard.

Do what works for you. And if one day you forget, it happens. God's mercy is new EVERY morning so there's no need to stress or feel like you've failed at something. The purpose is to never give up on your relationship with God. It doesn't have to look just like everyone else's but you can't really consider it functional if you don't get to know Who it is you're in a relationship with for yourself.

Just think about how much you'd believe that you're friend, or boyfriend, or parent (for all intents and purposes) really loved you if they only told you through their "best friend". This relationship is reciprocal that way because God needs to hear from you just as much as you need to hear from Him.

Ok. Im out. I have a date that I'm kind of late for....

Stay Blessed y'all.

♡♥
-Benita (: