It's kind of weird to me that I haven't blogged in almost a month. I move to Arizona and all of a sudden I am less... motivated to write about issues?? I don't know. I have been working on a few other pieces, but have not really had the desire to finish them. I was going to take this opportunity to write about my problem with Black people and our relationship with churches, but I will tackle that another day. I just wanted to take the opportunity to say that I'm not going away (well I DID go away, but I'm not going to stop blogging). I always wonder if anyone ever bothers to read my blogs... It doesn't really matter. I mostly do this to vent or say things that I think NEED to be said.
I'm still reading the MLK book I started reading in May(?), but I AM almost done. So when I start reviewing the notes I took on that, I should have some wonderful epiphanies to write about. I do just want to say, in reference to MLK, it is somewhat disheartening to think about how far we have not come since he died. It's a little sad to realize that so many of the issues Blacks faced then, still affect us now. And it is frustrating to see how ignorant people have remained. It's 2010 and a book from the the 1960s still rings true in pretty much EVERY way. BUT that makes me respect and admire MLK SO much more. It's a lot different reading hi thoughts than just being told about hos life. He was SUCH an awesome person. Just a blessing.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
To the Single, Black, Mother
I posted this on a blog that I no longer use a few months ago, but I felt that it was fitting for this blog as well.
I get that a lot of women think that the main problem with Black people is the "fall" of the Black man, but from where I'm standing... It's actually the fall of the Black woman. It's the mothers who raise these Black men, marry them, have their children, and allow them to think that money is the only way. THAT'S the real issue. When we expect a man who was only taught how to be a provider to teach his son something more... You've failed. I truly am beginning to see that it takes a real woman to raise a son. The problem is that either women are looking for a man to do it for them, or they forget the values that prevented their son's father from being their son's role model. All the while, this boy is growing up and seeing you treated with disrespect or allowing others to take advantage of you. They see you giving yourself to a man who has yet to give himself to you. When you had this son... What were the values you intended to instill in them? What possibilities did you see him having? How did you anticipate him being the man you now see his father is not? If you cannot answer these questions... I dare say... You shouldn't have had a child. What values are you now instilling in your child(ren) that they can be better than their parents? What ADVANTAGES have you allotted him that he will be smarter, better equipped than you? These, my dearies are VITAL factors that a mother MUST take into thought while raising a child. Otherwise, your complaints are in vain.
I do not blame the fathers (although they are a SERIOUS disappointment at various times), but I blame the mothers because many times you have not only put yourselves in impossible situations, but you have now passed that situation, that circumstance onto your child. It was YOU who chose to raise a child without truly knowing his father. It was YOU who chose to have sex with this man. It was YOU who chose to say you understand him, but yet have not analyzed (in even the smallest capacity) the relationship this man has with his father & his mother. You have not taken into consideration his values and that someone who values only the visual advantages of money may not be a good person to teach your child the value of hard work and family, community, love, respect... How dare YOU blame him, when you are... raising him? Your son, he is, in essence, the remake of his father. And it is not just the absence of his father, or the lack of participation from his father that has caused your child to have problems. It is the lack of thought, participation from his mother when deciding to create her child. If you allowed yourself to be seduced by whatever this man (or boy, depending on your age) was offering you, then, my dear, that is what you have taught your son to be motivated to have. “A man is only going to do what you allow him to do” I HATE that quote, mainly because… it is true. The problem is… that NO ONE seems to see the problem in that. WHY are we not teaching our sons, the future men, to treat people with fairness and respect, NO MATTER what the person allows you to do? THAT is a problem. I REFUSE to let my son think that treating a girl like a dog is ok if she lets him. You slapping me does not make it right just because I did not do anything to stop you from slapping me. Now, you may say I’m dumb if I let someone slap me. And AGAIN you miss the point. The point is not that I “let” someone do something to me; it IS that they thought it was okay to do it in the first place. People who victim blame, or who say that “you let…”, are only taking away from the real issue, and to me are just in denial of the mistakes that they made.
A child is a WONDERFUL gift. Parents want to make sure that their child has what they were not able to. But in order to do that, you have to think differently. And you should give yourself the chance to grow up, yourself before you put yourself in the position to be responsible for someone else's development. How can you possibly be prepared to teach your child values when you are currently at the beginning stages of developing your own? Why would you do that? A child gives you the opportunity to pass on your legacy, your beliefs, your dreams, to someone else and you waste such an opportunity when you tackle that task too soon. You waste it when you have yet to experience yourself; yet to know who you are or who you can become.
Now, I applaud the women who have managed to raise a child without experiencing any sad repercussions and those women who have been able to raise their child with wonderful values, but for the majority of the single mothers out there... This last note will not be condemning in its nature. Simply put: We HAVE to do better and we HAVE to grow up. Our children are dependent on it.
I get that a lot of women think that the main problem with Black people is the "fall" of the Black man, but from where I'm standing... It's actually the fall of the Black woman. It's the mothers who raise these Black men, marry them, have their children, and allow them to think that money is the only way. THAT'S the real issue. When we expect a man who was only taught how to be a provider to teach his son something more... You've failed. I truly am beginning to see that it takes a real woman to raise a son. The problem is that either women are looking for a man to do it for them, or they forget the values that prevented their son's father from being their son's role model. All the while, this boy is growing up and seeing you treated with disrespect or allowing others to take advantage of you. They see you giving yourself to a man who has yet to give himself to you. When you had this son... What were the values you intended to instill in them? What possibilities did you see him having? How did you anticipate him being the man you now see his father is not? If you cannot answer these questions... I dare say... You shouldn't have had a child. What values are you now instilling in your child(ren) that they can be better than their parents? What ADVANTAGES have you allotted him that he will be smarter, better equipped than you? These, my dearies are VITAL factors that a mother MUST take into thought while raising a child. Otherwise, your complaints are in vain.
I do not blame the fathers (although they are a SERIOUS disappointment at various times), but I blame the mothers because many times you have not only put yourselves in impossible situations, but you have now passed that situation, that circumstance onto your child. It was YOU who chose to raise a child without truly knowing his father. It was YOU who chose to have sex with this man. It was YOU who chose to say you understand him, but yet have not analyzed (in even the smallest capacity) the relationship this man has with his father & his mother. You have not taken into consideration his values and that someone who values only the visual advantages of money may not be a good person to teach your child the value of hard work and family, community, love, respect... How dare YOU blame him, when you are... raising him? Your son, he is, in essence, the remake of his father. And it is not just the absence of his father, or the lack of participation from his father that has caused your child to have problems. It is the lack of thought, participation from his mother when deciding to create her child. If you allowed yourself to be seduced by whatever this man (or boy, depending on your age) was offering you, then, my dear, that is what you have taught your son to be motivated to have. “A man is only going to do what you allow him to do” I HATE that quote, mainly because… it is true. The problem is… that NO ONE seems to see the problem in that. WHY are we not teaching our sons, the future men, to treat people with fairness and respect, NO MATTER what the person allows you to do? THAT is a problem. I REFUSE to let my son think that treating a girl like a dog is ok if she lets him. You slapping me does not make it right just because I did not do anything to stop you from slapping me. Now, you may say I’m dumb if I let someone slap me. And AGAIN you miss the point. The point is not that I “let” someone do something to me; it IS that they thought it was okay to do it in the first place. People who victim blame, or who say that “you let…”, are only taking away from the real issue, and to me are just in denial of the mistakes that they made.
A child is a WONDERFUL gift. Parents want to make sure that their child has what they were not able to. But in order to do that, you have to think differently. And you should give yourself the chance to grow up, yourself before you put yourself in the position to be responsible for someone else's development. How can you possibly be prepared to teach your child values when you are currently at the beginning stages of developing your own? Why would you do that? A child gives you the opportunity to pass on your legacy, your beliefs, your dreams, to someone else and you waste such an opportunity when you tackle that task too soon. You waste it when you have yet to experience yourself; yet to know who you are or who you can become.
Now, I applaud the women who have managed to raise a child without experiencing any sad repercussions and those women who have been able to raise their child with wonderful values, but for the majority of the single mothers out there... This last note will not be condemning in its nature. Simply put: We HAVE to do better and we HAVE to grow up. Our children are dependent on it.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Using Their Words To "Prove" Your Point Part III
This is my last installment of "arguments" my friends made to prove their point although these same arguments were the ones that were used to keep our ancestors and even our parents in an oppressed state.
Hope you enjoyed these five arguments I attempt to make with a little more time.
Argument #4:
Black people are lazy, unprofessional, and generally unsuccessful compared to immigrants & whites. Now you KNOW this one pisses me off the most. First, I have to say, what characteristics from either of the competing ethnicities' experiences in the U.S. makes them legit enough to be compared to Blacks in the first place? I don't know of any other ethnicity that was held in slavery for the first 300+ years they were in the U.S., but maybe I didn't learn that in my history classes??? Then to go further. Do NOT take the actions of the Black people from lower SES areas as the actions of the race as a whole. THAT is something White racists do to justify their beliefs. There are certain things that the majority of Black people do because they are Black in America and there are certain things that the majority of Black people do because most of them live in poverty and did not have the same educational or social opportunities as other ethnicities in the U.S. An example you say? Things Black people do because they are Black: they have Family Reunions; they practice egalitarian (equal responsibility) marriages; they probably even have a family member who knows how to cook chitterlings (laaauuugh). Things Black people do because they are probably poor or are influenced by people in the "hood": Speak real "hood" (whether it is the use of ebonics or a loud volume, it is the things); Dress real "hood"; Have an upper-arm tattoo & you're a female (sorry, but it is, lol); wear fronts (and yes, Diddy has done it, but where did he grow up again?? Oh, ok, point proven); and have a significant number of teen or young adult mothers who are not married to the father of their child (and probably never will be). I will say that people from rural areas (aka the country) qualify in this category as well.
Hope you enjoyed these five arguments I attempt to make with a little more time.
Black people are lazy, unprofessional, and generally unsuccessful compared to immigrants & whites. Now you KNOW this one pisses me off the most. First, I have to say, what characteristics from either of the competing ethnicities' experiences in the U.S. makes them legit enough to be compared to Blacks in the first place? I don't know of any other ethnicity that was held in slavery for the first 300+ years they were in the U.S., but maybe I didn't learn that in my history classes??? Then to go further. Do NOT take the actions of the Black people from lower SES areas as the actions of the race as a whole. THAT is something White racists do to justify their beliefs. There are certain things that the majority of Black people do because they are Black in America and there are certain things that the majority of Black people do because most of them live in poverty and did not have the same educational or social opportunities as other ethnicities in the U.S. An example you say? Things Black people do because they are Black: they have Family Reunions; they practice egalitarian (equal responsibility) marriages; they probably even have a family member who knows how to cook chitterlings (laaauuugh). Things Black people do because they are probably poor or are influenced by people in the "hood": Speak real "hood" (whether it is the use of ebonics or a loud volume, it is the things); Dress real "hood"; Have an upper-arm tattoo & you're a female (sorry, but it is, lol); wear fronts (and yes, Diddy has done it, but where did he grow up again?? Oh, ok, point proven); and have a significant number of teen or young adult mothers who are not married to the father of their child (and probably never will be). I will say that people from rural areas (aka the country) qualify in this category as well.
Another important thing to consider when this argument is brought up is that the “lazy, unprofessional, and unsuccessful” Black people in which this refers to are usually the outliers. What I call “loud and wrong”. And it doesn’t help that people are looking for us to act this way so when we prove their point they convince themselves that this is fact. The loud and wrong people stand out. You could be in a group of ALL Black people and there is ALWAYS one who is just extra. Makes you look &/or feel bad or embarrassed about yourself, but they are ONE (or two) in the group and the rest of the people in the group are probably chill. Yet, people focus on those extra people. So what if there is an unprofessional cashier at Walmart? The rest of the cashiers aren’t doing anything special, except for their jobs.
And my one directed towards the women: This one is quite simple... "She did something to make him hit (or rape) her"--- Victim blaming in a society that has significant problems with violence against women (normally at the hands of a man) is NEVER a good look. Although common couple violence DOES exist, even when that is CLEARLY not the case, people still try to find a way to point the finger at the victim. I'm not sure if people realize it or not, but victim-blaming occurs in WAY too many (i will not say most because I doubt I can prove it) cases of intimate partner violence. People do it with rape victims as well, which REALLY makes me angrier. In fact I saw a blog that discussed that people like Natalee Holloway basically put themselves in the position to be raped and/or murdered. That disgusted me. Instead of focusing on the need of the minds of the people who rape and abuse to change, people tell us that we shouldn't have gone out and partied with your friends. I'm a SERIOUS activist when it comes to intimate partner violence & sexual assault so I can go in on this topic, but not for this blog.
The fact is that we often find ways to blame the victim for their circumstance instead of blaming the real culprit. The system, that doesn't educate about how to not be a rapist or an abuser, but definitely tells women how to "avoid rape"; that refused Black people jobs and adequate housing for over half a century; that made Black people feel less than human and therefore making many Black people HATE the system and all of those who enforced it; that refuses to provide an equal education to those in Lower socio-economic status areas. The system and those who refuse to change it or at least try, are the people who are the true failures.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Niggers Niggas & Niggaz
Not only do I love this poem because he discusses reasons why I hate the "arguments" people make for using the word, BUT I also found the comments that people make on youtube under this video to be interesting. It's kind of sad to observe the hate, ignorance, and confusion that people spew out of their... fingers under such a poem. Then it is also interesting to see other people's points of views. I myself use the word, but I also don't make up some kind of reasoning behind it. I simply say that I use it because it has been used so much in my culture. It's like every other profane word out there; offensive in almost every other way, except when it's convenient to say it isn't. Honestly, I feel like the only reason why people use profanity is because everyone else does and the only time they try to come up with an excuse behind why they use it is when people question them or give them reasons why they shouldn't. It's the stubbornness of my generation and the generation before me. *sigh* But either way, I LOVE this poem. Enjoy
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Using Their Words To "Prove" Your Point Part II
I've continued with my attempt to make my argument against those who made stupid racism-enforcing arguments. I love my friends dearly, but... They should think more before they speak. Like me. lol
Argument #2:
Black people are a different race---said the White man when he decided we deserved to be in chains AND apparently the Black girl when she said that is why Black men choose to date/marry White women *rolls eyes at both*. But let me tell you why, very briefly.
First things first… Race was created as, not a way of “classifying”, but rather a way of segregating, isolating. I firmly believe that there is one “race”, the human race. All that other -ish is b.s. So when people make this argument I’m probably not going to agree.
What is race anyways? What does it REALLY mean? Are you saying I’m a different species because??? A different form of the same species?? I need to know how it works. Well, actually, I don’t because it’s irrelevant. Especially since there are only 3 classifiable races?? Yea, I’m not buying it, but I fill out the for checking “Black” because I know what it means to me and can only assume what it REALLY means to the people who check that stuff.
Argument #3:
If you give them the right tools, they still wouldn't know what to do with it---said the White man when he kept us in chains for paternalisms sake AND said the Black girl about reasons why Black people in lower SES areas don't deserve equal opportunities for education? Housing? Jobs? I'm not sure exactly what she was talking about, but as you can see, none of the fill-ins seem good. If the other people WITH the opportunities know what to do with it, what makes Black people so "incapable"?? This must feed into the Black people being a different race thing?? *rolls eyes at the ignorance again*
Black people are a different race---said the White man when he decided we deserved to be in chains AND apparently the Black girl when she said that is why Black men choose to date/marry White women *rolls eyes at both*. But let me tell you why, very briefly.
First things first… Race was created as, not a way of “classifying”, but rather a way of segregating, isolating. I firmly believe that there is one “race”, the human race. All that other -ish is b.s. So when people make this argument I’m probably not going to agree.
What is race anyways? What does it REALLY mean? Are you saying I’m a different species because??? A different form of the same species?? I need to know how it works. Well, actually, I don’t because it’s irrelevant. Especially since there are only 3 classifiable races?? Yea, I’m not buying it, but I fill out the for checking “Black” because I know what it means to me and can only assume what it REALLY means to the people who check that stuff.
If you give them the right tools, they still wouldn't know what to do with it---said the White man when he kept us in chains for paternalisms sake AND said the Black girl about reasons why Black people in lower SES areas don't deserve equal opportunities for education? Housing? Jobs? I'm not sure exactly what she was talking about, but as you can see, none of the fill-ins seem good. If the other people WITH the opportunities know what to do with it, what makes Black people so "incapable"?? This must feed into the Black people being a different race thing?? *rolls eyes at the ignorance again*
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
"Imagine"
I just love this poem. "What ever happened to that we shall overcome shit?"
Matter of fact... What ever happened to DefPoetry??? *sigh* But... either way, this poem is SO real.
Matter of fact... What ever happened to DefPoetry??? *sigh* But... either way, this poem is SO real.
Using Their Words To "Prove" Your Point
I often have discussions of race and inequality among my friends. I argue terribly because, well, I'm not a bullshitter. I don't do the, "My opinion is right & I know it is, no matter what facts you can pull up" thing. I prefer to think before I speak. I prefer accuracy over loudness. I prefer to use experience + facts + intuition in a discussion & that culmination of things is hard to gather together in a random argument, so, I suck @ it. I'll usually end up giving up or feeling cheated for time somehow. So, I am reclaiming my time with this blog and making an effort to prove MY point.
This particular entry is a list of different arguments I have been in that talk about race, mostly about Black people. During these arguments, though, I found that my friends had a habit of saying things that, basically encouraged racism. In fact, they pretty much used the same arguments used by the people who made the racist laws used to uphold slavery & Jim Crow laws. Since all of the people I argued with are Black, I thought it was important that they come up with a better argument. I think I will also have a mention of why the Feminist movements were necessary as well. I have a feeling that this is going to be a long blog, so I may post it in parts, hopefully no one minds too much?? Well, let's hop to it!
Argument #1:
This one annoys me the most because, it's something my mom said, but I take into consideration that my mom was born in 1954 and experienced racism first-hand for many years of her life, so she's quite biased. This argument is easiest described as: If I'm good, they're evil. These words aren't the words used, of course, but rather this is the general idea expressed behind the argument. Had a discussion with my mom and sister. She mentioned how many racist blogs she had come across on Craigslist. She stated that she had read how White people were saying that Black people are so dirty for not washing their hair every day. When that was said, I got annoyed, of course. And so did my mom. My mom, then proceeds to say that “White people are the dirty ones, they HAVE to wash their hair everyday….[blah] [blah] [blah]. Me and my sister interrupted her because, it was an ignorant statement as well. I love my mother, but because she was a DIRECT receiver of the oppression exhibited in this beautiful country we live in… her heart and mind are hurt. This leads to my point. In order for my mother to justify why these white people were wrong for thinking the way they thought, she had to insult them and make them deviant in some way. In order for Black people to be okay, normal (whatever that even MEANS!), White people had to be bad, unusual. That’s not how the world works. Sorry. The fact is, we ARE different.
Our hair and skin look and act differently, but it has NOTHING to do with being unnatural or anything like that. White people just have fine hair in the hair texture spectrum and Black people have more course hair. Therefore… while white people’s hair can go about a max of 2 days?? Before the natural oils in their hair affect its functionality and smell… Black people, whose natural oils are actually not enough to make it functional, can go upwards of a month before our natural oils affect our hair (although when our hair is natural we SHOULD wash it every 2 weeks and once a week when it is relaxed). In fact Black people normally have to add oils of some sort to our hair more than once a week to keep it functional. Another important factor is that there are PLENTY of Black people close to the fine end of the spectrum and they sometimes have to wash their hair a maximum of every 5 days. We’re lucky in some sense because we get to spend a little less on shampoo and conditioner. Then again, Black hair products are actually MADE for our hair are JUST now getting highly marketed, so we are still technically learning what it is we can do.
Needless to say me and my sister told her this and we made sure that she was aware of the dangerous line she had crossed. She was being no better that the racists. In my women’s studies courses I learned that the oppressed population can’t fall into the “-ist/-ism” category because they were oppressed so there is a reason for them to feel prejudice against the oppressor, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t prejudice; it doesn’t make it okay. So my mom isn’t racist, but she has a CLEAR prejudice against white people. I still love her, but I call her out on her ignorance as well. After all, the only way to overcome ignorance is love and knowledge.
These VERY false binaries are going to kill us. When I say this I mean, the myth that something is either, good OR evil; black OR white; quiet OR loud; even man OR woman. It’s killing us because if you “know” that you fall at one end of the spectrum, then you force someone who is different from you to fall on the other end (i.e. if I am Black and good then she is White and evil). It is something that needs to stop and this was my effort towards that effort, but I would LOVE to hear what you think.
Leave a comment. Am I justified for thinking such a way?
This particular entry is a list of different arguments I have been in that talk about race, mostly about Black people. During these arguments, though, I found that my friends had a habit of saying things that, basically encouraged racism. In fact, they pretty much used the same arguments used by the people who made the racist laws used to uphold slavery & Jim Crow laws. Since all of the people I argued with are Black, I thought it was important that they come up with a better argument. I think I will also have a mention of why the Feminist movements were necessary as well. I have a feeling that this is going to be a long blog, so I may post it in parts, hopefully no one minds too much?? Well, let's hop to it!
Argument #1:
This one annoys me the most because, it's something my mom said, but I take into consideration that my mom was born in 1954 and experienced racism first-hand for many years of her life, so she's quite biased. This argument is easiest described as: If I'm good, they're evil. These words aren't the words used, of course, but rather this is the general idea expressed behind the argument. Had a discussion with my mom and sister. She mentioned how many racist blogs she had come across on Craigslist. She stated that she had read how White people were saying that Black people are so dirty for not washing their hair every day. When that was said, I got annoyed, of course. And so did my mom. My mom, then proceeds to say that “White people are the dirty ones, they HAVE to wash their hair everyday….[blah] [blah] [blah]. Me and my sister interrupted her because, it was an ignorant statement as well. I love my mother, but because she was a DIRECT receiver of the oppression exhibited in this beautiful country we live in… her heart and mind are hurt. This leads to my point. In order for my mother to justify why these white people were wrong for thinking the way they thought, she had to insult them and make them deviant in some way. In order for Black people to be okay, normal (whatever that even MEANS!), White people had to be bad, unusual. That’s not how the world works. Sorry. The fact is, we ARE different.
Our hair and skin look and act differently, but it has NOTHING to do with being unnatural or anything like that. White people just have fine hair in the hair texture spectrum and Black people have more course hair. Therefore… while white people’s hair can go about a max of 2 days?? Before the natural oils in their hair affect its functionality and smell… Black people, whose natural oils are actually not enough to make it functional, can go upwards of a month before our natural oils affect our hair (although when our hair is natural we SHOULD wash it every 2 weeks and once a week when it is relaxed). In fact Black people normally have to add oils of some sort to our hair more than once a week to keep it functional. Another important factor is that there are PLENTY of Black people close to the fine end of the spectrum and they sometimes have to wash their hair a maximum of every 5 days. We’re lucky in some sense because we get to spend a little less on shampoo and conditioner. Then again, Black hair products are actually MADE for our hair are JUST now getting highly marketed, so we are still technically learning what it is we can do.
Needless to say me and my sister told her this and we made sure that she was aware of the dangerous line she had crossed. She was being no better that the racists. In my women’s studies courses I learned that the oppressed population can’t fall into the “-ist/-ism” category because they were oppressed so there is a reason for them to feel prejudice against the oppressor, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t prejudice; it doesn’t make it okay. So my mom isn’t racist, but she has a CLEAR prejudice against white people. I still love her, but I call her out on her ignorance as well. After all, the only way to overcome ignorance is love and knowledge.
These VERY false binaries are going to kill us. When I say this I mean, the myth that something is either, good OR evil; black OR white; quiet OR loud; even man OR woman. It’s killing us because if you “know” that you fall at one end of the spectrum, then you force someone who is different from you to fall on the other end (i.e. if I am Black and good then she is White and evil). It is something that needs to stop and this was my effort towards that effort, but I would LOVE to hear what you think.
Leave a comment. Am I justified for thinking such a way?
Monday, July 12, 2010
What You Ask Of Me
"Latinos work jobs that most Americans won't work in order to make sure they survive. They also live all together to make bills cheaper per person. They do this so that their children will have a better life. But Black people complain about what they don't have. We didn't get here by being individualistic like we are." These are the ideas that float in many people's heads when they discuss the reasons why so many Black people live in poverty. I must say, I am one of the many people who have been arguing this same thing for years. I have also made it a point to say the other side of this... Black people know better. Black people know what it is they deserve as a U.S. Citizen and THAT is why they will not work a job that does NOT offer them benefits like health care and a salary; that will NOT provide them with basic needs without using governmental assistance. I still believe that our new found individualism has been at our detriment, but I have also argued that Black people have the belief that the reason White people have their privilege is because of the money they have. I think that the real reason is their access to information.Either way it is important to remember that Black people have worked those jobs... For the past 350 years. Not because they wanted a better life, but because they had no choice but to do so. They have had to put aside their dreams so that, maybe, their children will be able to live theirs. This is fact.
What you are asking me to do:
You are asking me to continue, in 2010, to watch my white "peers" continue to receive better education, which leads to better secondary education, which leads to a better job, & more money to better provide for their families, but put aside my dreams so that maybe my kids will have a better life? You are asking me to sacrifice myself so that the next generations may have better opportunities? But I was told I could be anything I wanted to be! I was told we ALL have the same opportunities now! I was taught that all I have to do is go to school & I will be better. Now you say, maybe I need to work a little harder than my white "peers" to get where I want to be in life. I have to know the "right" information to work around the system. But how do I get this information if the schools don't give it to me? How do I know this information when my school is being funded by my fellow impoverished peers? Do they know the information? Then why are they still living in poverty? Why don't white people have to search for this information? Why don't they have to work a little harder to receive it? But I have to be willing to sacrifice for my children. Still? In 2010? I can't dream of greatness? I just have to dream of making enough money so that my children will eventually be able to go to college.
That is what you are asking of me? I STILL have to sacrifice? I have to watch these people gain so much success, but because I am Black I STILL cannot share in this? In 2010???
How is this supposed to be fair? How is this right? You are asking me to be content with the idea that I will have to struggle for the rest of my life, just so my children will have a larger glimpse at one? You cannot honestly believe that would be encouraging… I know that that is the burden that Black people have to bear and one I am willing to, but it is unfair to expect that of everyone. To this I know that world is not fair, but just think about how disheartening this is. What I’m trying to say is… that I get it. I get why people have that desire not to struggle anymore and are tired of having to do so. I get that you get tired of being Black sometimes. It’s exhausting and sad and hard. But… I also get that it’s not about us… even in 2010… it’s not about how we’re going to end up. It IS, however, about our future; the future of Black people. It IS about how well they will end up. I think if our current state in the U.S. says nothing else, it should let us know that the struggle is not over and it is not going to be over until we ALL can stand together and say we want better and that we are going to struggle together to make sure our future children get it.
I mentioned in a previous blog that I am reading a book by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and that it has inspired more than a little blog ideas. This was one of them and I will write a few more that piggy back off of this. Leave a comment to let me know what you think about my “epiphany”.
What you are asking me to do:
You are asking me to continue, in 2010, to watch my white "peers" continue to receive better education, which leads to better secondary education, which leads to a better job, & more money to better provide for their families, but put aside my dreams so that maybe my kids will have a better life? You are asking me to sacrifice myself so that the next generations may have better opportunities? But I was told I could be anything I wanted to be! I was told we ALL have the same opportunities now! I was taught that all I have to do is go to school & I will be better. Now you say, maybe I need to work a little harder than my white "peers" to get where I want to be in life. I have to know the "right" information to work around the system. But how do I get this information if the schools don't give it to me? How do I know this information when my school is being funded by my fellow impoverished peers? Do they know the information? Then why are they still living in poverty? Why don't white people have to search for this information? Why don't they have to work a little harder to receive it? But I have to be willing to sacrifice for my children. Still? In 2010? I can't dream of greatness? I just have to dream of making enough money so that my children will eventually be able to go to college.
That is what you are asking of me? I STILL have to sacrifice? I have to watch these people gain so much success, but because I am Black I STILL cannot share in this? In 2010???
How is this supposed to be fair? How is this right? You are asking me to be content with the idea that I will have to struggle for the rest of my life, just so my children will have a larger glimpse at one? You cannot honestly believe that would be encouraging… I know that that is the burden that Black people have to bear and one I am willing to, but it is unfair to expect that of everyone. To this I know that world is not fair, but just think about how disheartening this is. What I’m trying to say is… that I get it. I get why people have that desire not to struggle anymore and are tired of having to do so. I get that you get tired of being Black sometimes. It’s exhausting and sad and hard. But… I also get that it’s not about us… even in 2010… it’s not about how we’re going to end up. It IS, however, about our future; the future of Black people. It IS about how well they will end up. I think if our current state in the U.S. says nothing else, it should let us know that the struggle is not over and it is not going to be over until we ALL can stand together and say we want better and that we are going to struggle together to make sure our future children get it.
I mentioned in a previous blog that I am reading a book by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and that it has inspired more than a little blog ideas. This was one of them and I will write a few more that piggy back off of this. Leave a comment to let me know what you think about my “epiphany”.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
What I Learned: About My Public School Education
There is a problem, I have noticed, with education in the "hood". I know you probably read that sentence thinking, “Well, DUH! Tell me something I don’t know.” Well, I think, that for many, there are a few things that I will write, that you did not know. The main reason I am writing this is because I believe that the main hindrance for the lack of education in schools is the lack of funds going to schools. I have noticed that a lot of people have this belief that “We all received the same type of schooling, education, resources etc… it’s what we did with it that makes us so different.” Sadly, that is definitely NOT the case. The poorer schools (since taxes from the area dictate the funding) receive the more cost efficient education; cheaper teachers and staff, older books, less college prep, and a strong emphasis on vocational education.
Now, I don’t think that the vocational education is bad because those schools provide the skills needed for children who either do not perform as well in school or who are likely to go straight to work after high school (some even need those resources while in high school). When I think of vocational schools, I not only think of the other side of necessary education, but I also think about the industries in different areas. Vocational schools provide for the training needed to work in the majority of those industries. In fact, I have noticed that high schools in general provide for the careers that are populous in those areas. The sad thing about that is that we never really learn to dream BIGGER, that is unless you are fortunate enough to have other family of friends who know about something else.
If we are telling these kids that they MUST go to school & that an education is NECESSARY then we need to give these kids a reason to feel like the schools are worth their time. We need to make sure that the education that we are providing for them is going to give them the right opportunities. The programs in the schools need to be working towards their benefit as well. They should not feel like the system doesn't work to help them be better. They should not be able to see kids who are in the same city, but yet are receiving better and more relevant resources. How is that a motivator when they know that there is really nothing they can do to receive those benefits? To them the only thing that is making the big difference is money (and they would be right). When the only reason they aren't getting taught the same, or learning about different programs out there for them is because the people WITH money are withholding these resources & using their money only to benefit themselves... Why would they believe otherwise. When the people who came from the same schools as they did and grew up in the same areas as they did... Are still in their area, doing the same things & still struggling. How are they to believe that money isn't the only thing holding them back. You wonder why they sell drugs with the belief that it's going to get them ahead in life. You wonder why they define success as having money & being able to spend it without struggling or impatiently waiting for their next pay check??
Little do they realize that the main difference between them and the "rich kids" is the distribution of information. Although money is the reason the information is not being distributed evenly among them and their peers, it is the information that gets them the money in the first place. It is the information that determines how you view life. It is the information that determines how life and society views you. And that lack of information, that lack of knowledge or what we all know as ignorance is what has caused the most harm to many of the people. It is ignorance that has kept so many of my fellow African Americans in an internalized state of slavery. They don't know how to get the knowledge because the people with it still refuse to give them a chance. They hold that patriarchal view that if we give it to them, they still wouldn't know what to do with it. And it is THAT kind of thinking that is the MOST ignorant.
How often has a Black man/ or woman with a college degree proved detrimental to society? Now how often has a Black Man or Woman without a college degree, or worse, without a high school diploma, proven harmful, to others as well as themselves?? But yet if you give us the opportunity, the knowledge, the power, to be something else, we wouldn't know what to do with it?! If you ask me that sounds more like fear. Fear that there will just be more competition, for jobs. I don't know WHY people have gotten in the mindset that making someone else better, makes YOU bad, or worse. But that idea has radiated itself in so many forms throughout our society from the ideas of beauty (if this fuller figured girl is pretty, then because I am small, I am ugly?), to the classism (if the poor are given the opportunity, then I/the wealthy will be less powerful). People can't think in terms of the fact that when a bigger variety is "allowed" in... It creates more OPPORTUNITY, not more COMPETITION. UGH!
Now, I don’t think that the vocational education is bad because those schools provide the skills needed for children who either do not perform as well in school or who are likely to go straight to work after high school (some even need those resources while in high school). When I think of vocational schools, I not only think of the other side of necessary education, but I also think about the industries in different areas. Vocational schools provide for the training needed to work in the majority of those industries. In fact, I have noticed that high schools in general provide for the careers that are populous in those areas. The sad thing about that is that we never really learn to dream BIGGER, that is unless you are fortunate enough to have other family of friends who know about something else.
If we are telling these kids that they MUST go to school & that an education is NECESSARY then we need to give these kids a reason to feel like the schools are worth their time. We need to make sure that the education that we are providing for them is going to give them the right opportunities. The programs in the schools need to be working towards their benefit as well. They should not feel like the system doesn't work to help them be better. They should not be able to see kids who are in the same city, but yet are receiving better and more relevant resources. How is that a motivator when they know that there is really nothing they can do to receive those benefits? To them the only thing that is making the big difference is money (and they would be right). When the only reason they aren't getting taught the same, or learning about different programs out there for them is because the people WITH money are withholding these resources & using their money only to benefit themselves... Why would they believe otherwise. When the people who came from the same schools as they did and grew up in the same areas as they did... Are still in their area, doing the same things & still struggling. How are they to believe that money isn't the only thing holding them back. You wonder why they sell drugs with the belief that it's going to get them ahead in life. You wonder why they define success as having money & being able to spend it without struggling or impatiently waiting for their next pay check??
Little do they realize that the main difference between them and the "rich kids" is the distribution of information. Although money is the reason the information is not being distributed evenly among them and their peers, it is the information that gets them the money in the first place. It is the information that determines how you view life. It is the information that determines how life and society views you. And that lack of information, that lack of knowledge or what we all know as ignorance is what has caused the most harm to many of the people. It is ignorance that has kept so many of my fellow African Americans in an internalized state of slavery. They don't know how to get the knowledge because the people with it still refuse to give them a chance. They hold that patriarchal view that if we give it to them, they still wouldn't know what to do with it. And it is THAT kind of thinking that is the MOST ignorant.
How often has a Black man/ or woman with a college degree proved detrimental to society? Now how often has a Black Man or Woman without a college degree, or worse, without a high school diploma, proven harmful, to others as well as themselves?? But yet if you give us the opportunity, the knowledge, the power, to be something else, we wouldn't know what to do with it?! If you ask me that sounds more like fear. Fear that there will just be more competition, for jobs. I don't know WHY people have gotten in the mindset that making someone else better, makes YOU bad, or worse. But that idea has radiated itself in so many forms throughout our society from the ideas of beauty (if this fuller figured girl is pretty, then because I am small, I am ugly?), to the classism (if the poor are given the opportunity, then I/the wealthy will be less powerful). People can't think in terms of the fact that when a bigger variety is "allowed" in... It creates more OPPORTUNITY, not more COMPETITION. UGH!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Our True Failure
I get that a lot of women think that the main problem with Black people is the "fall" of the Black man, but from where I'm standing... It's actually the fall of the Black woman. It's the mothers who raise these Black men, marry them, have their children, and allow them to think that money is the only way. THAT'S the real issue. When we expect a man who was only taught how to be a provider to teach his son something more... You've failed. I truly am beginning to see that it takes a real woman to raise a son. The problem is that either women are looking for a man to do it for them, or they forget the values that prevented their son's father from being their son's role model. All the while, this boy is growing up and seeing you treated with disrespect or allowing others to take advantage of you. They see you giving yourself to a man who has yet to give himself to you. When you had this son... What were the values you intended to instill in them? What possibilities did you see him having? How did you anticipate him being the man you now see his father is not? If you cannot answer these questions... I dare say... You shouldn't have had a child. What values are you now instilling in your child(ren) that they can be better than their parents? What ADVANTAGES have you allotted him that he will be smarter, better equipped than you? These, my dearies are VITAL factors that a mother MUST take into thought while raising a child. Otherwise, your complaints are in vain.
I do not blame the fathers (although they are a SERIOUS disappointment at various times), but I blame the mothers because many times you have not only put yourselves in impossible situations, but you have now passed that situation, that circumstance onto your child. It was YOU who chose to raise a child without truly knowing his father. It was YOU who chose to have sex with this man. It was YOU who chose to say you understand him, but yet have not analyzed (in even the smallest capacity) the relationship this man has with his father & his mother. You have not taken into consideration his values and that someone who values only the visual advantages of money may not be a good person to teach your child the value of hard work and family, community, love, respect... How dare YOU blame him, when you are... raising him? Your son, he is, in essence, the remake of his father. And it is not just the absence of his father, or the lack of participation from his father that has caused your child to have problems. It is the lack of thought, participation from his mother when deciding to create her child. If you allowed yourself to be seduced by whatever this man (or boy, depending on your age) was offering you, then, my dear, that is what you have taught your son to be motivated to have. “A man is only going to do what you allow him to do” I HATE that quote, mainly because… it is true. The problem is… that NO ONE seems to see the problem in that. WHY are we not teaching our sons, the future men, to treat people with fairness and respect, NO MATTER what the person allows you to do? THAT is a problem. I REFUSE to let my future son (if I ever have one) think that treating a girl like a dog is ok if she lets him. You slapping me does not make it right just because I did not do anything to stop you from slapping me. Now, you may say I’m dumb if I let someone slap me. And AGAIN you miss the point. The point is not that I “let” someone do something to me; it IS that they thought it was okay to do it in the first place. People who victim blame, or who say that “you let…”, are only taking away from the real issue, and to me are just in denial of the mistakes that they made.
A child is a WONDERFUL gift. Parents want to make sure that their child has what they were not able to. But in order to do that, you have to think differently. And you should give yourself the chance to grow up, yourself before you put yourself in the position to be responsible for someone else's development. How can you possibly be prepared to teach your child values when you are currently at the beginning stages of developing your own? Why would you do that? A child gives you the opportunity to pass on your legacy, your beliefs, your dreams, to someone else and you waste such an opportunity when you tackle that task too soon. You waste it when you have yet to experience yourself; yet to know who you are or who you can become.
Now, I applaud the women who have managed to raise a child without experiencing any sad repercussions and those women who have been able to raise their child with wonderful values, but for the majority of the single mothers out there... This last note will not be condemning in its nature.
Simply put: We HAVE to do better and we HAVE to grow up. Our children are dependent on it.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The "Crisis" of the Successful Black Woman
This was the first episode I watched of The Spark and I was HOOKED. I just love how she talks about the issues. I ESPECIALLY think that the last 3 minutes are DEFINITELY on point! I think it is SO necessary for women to spend time working on themselves. I've learned that I need to be comfortable being single before I even worry about being in a relationship. I'm only 22, settling down is not in the near future so I don't have to focus so much of my attention and efforts on pursuing a man. I think there are SO many women out there who go out based on trying to find a man or trying to find a potential boo. It's just ridiculous. So like Bansu said: "If you're right then, if a man DOES come around next week, you'll be even better" But YOU have to be right first. And like Tionna said" FIND A HOBBY!!" I think I'm going to do a separate blog on this issue soon because I am seeing that this is something that needs to be in the minds of so many Black women... So... Here's the episode. PLEASE watch it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
"She's Pretty For A Dark Skinned Girl..."
Hey Guys!
Well, here I go again. In my attempt to learn a little bit more about Tameka Raymond, I decided to Google her and came across this wonderfully written article. The Title: "She's Pretty For A Dark-Skinned Girl..." I was immediately drawn to this title because I too have a darker complexion and I have heard that too many times, luckily, not targeted towards me. Either way, I have felt it. I have to agree with everything she has said. It is sad to bear witness to this idea that the closest thing to white is the closest thing to beautiful in the eyes of society. It has permeated and destroyed our community and it is always wonderful to hear someone speak about it. So I have posted the link to this article she has written for The Huffington Post last August. It is a must read. Enjoy.
Well, here I go again. In my attempt to learn a little bit more about Tameka Raymond, I decided to Google her and came across this wonderfully written article. The Title: "She's Pretty For A Dark-Skinned Girl..." I was immediately drawn to this title because I too have a darker complexion and I have heard that too many times, luckily, not targeted towards me. Either way, I have felt it. I have to agree with everything she has said. It is sad to bear witness to this idea that the closest thing to white is the closest thing to beautiful in the eyes of society. It has permeated and destroyed our community and it is always wonderful to hear someone speak about it. So I have posted the link to this article she has written for The Huffington Post last August. It is a must read. Enjoy.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The Spark with Amanda Diva
Ok, as I mentioned in the last post, I watch The Spark with Amanda Diva on AOL Black Voices [online]. Well, I just watched another episode and it has me intrigued yet again. I just HAD to blog about it. I'm not going to say much because the video speaks for itself, but I think this woman always speaks truth on so many levels and I am finding it necessary to constantly post her episodes up. I didn't know about the woman who got punched by the cop... ok scratch that, I didn't know much about the woman who got punched by the cop, so this was something new I learned today. Anywho... I think we all should watch this episode. I may add my two cents in her comment box, but idk, because I want to learn more on the issue. But anyways: Here's the episode.
Watch more AOL Black Voices videos on AOL Video
I LOVE IT!
So I watch this online show called The Spark with Amanda Diva and on one of the episodes she interviewed Tameka Raymond [aka Usher's ex-wife]. Well after the show I became slightly obsessed with her [trust me, it's a healthy obsession]. It just made me want to know more about her. She has started this organization called the Lost Ones Foundation. It focuses on basically empowering young girls and women. I became obsessed because her organization's goals are the same as those for the foundation I soon [well within the net 4 years] hope to start. I was soo excited to hear her speak about the same things that I believe as well. It was refreshing. I was impressed. So, I sought to learn more about her organization and luckily found her website & her twitter. So I'm following her. lol Here's the link to her website: http://lostonesfoundation.org/. I think its goals are AWESOME. I think that my org. will be a little more than this, but I still believe that this foundation is SOOO important. I have now gained some respect for her [not that she needs it].
Sunday, June 27, 2010
My Cause
So, I recently went on dosomething.org and while visiting the site I felt encouraged to start a blog particularly related to issues affecting and involving at-risk youth and families. Growing up I always knew that I wanted to work with children, but it was not until I became a high school student that I realized how, in particular, I wanted to work with them. I became a psyc major with the objective of being a counselor in the school system. Not a guidance counselor, but more of a school psychologist. After being in college a few years, that changed and I am now working on being a social worker, well I will when I go to graduate school next year. This means that now, I will be dedicating my career towards assisting others reach their full potential. It is what makes me happy. Being black and from a lower income area has given me the opportunity to understand certain needs of my communities and I have found that it is necessary for us to help each other.
In essence this blog will be some of my own thoughts, but it will also include videos, articles, and books that dig a little into this topic. I'm currently reading Martin Luther King Jr.'s book Where Do We Go From Here Chaos or Community? I'm over half way through and think the thoughts that have developed from what I have read so far will be my first few blogs. Until I post those, I just wanted to write this first. Hope you enjoy...
In essence this blog will be some of my own thoughts, but it will also include videos, articles, and books that dig a little into this topic. I'm currently reading Martin Luther King Jr.'s book Where Do We Go From Here Chaos or Community? I'm over half way through and think the thoughts that have developed from what I have read so far will be my first few blogs. Until I post those, I just wanted to write this first. Hope you enjoy...
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